Supervised parenting time is frequently used within the State of New Jersey. However, there are several questions that the common individual simply cannot be expected to answer. First and foremost, what is a supervisor and what do they do? Supervisors are not wardens. However, they are not mere shadows either. In fact, supervisors fall into a happy gray area. Their role is to observe the supervised parent and protect the children. They are there to ensure that court orders are followed and, if needed, to report any incidents that may arise. Quite literally, their purpose is to act as your eyes and ears while the supervised parent spends time with the children.
You might now be asking, when are supervisors utilized? In any custody matter, whether it be during or post-divorce, parents can have supervised parenting time. Supervised parenting time can be done by way of agreement or by Court Order. However, it should not be entered into lightly and it requires sufficient cause. Put simply, a parent cannot ask for supervised parenting time due to some baseless vendetta. Common examples of why a Court would impose supervised parenting time abuse, neglect, or a parent’s history of substance abuse.
Assuming you have sufficient cause to warrant supervised parenting time, a very important question remains: who should serve as supervisor? From the outset, you should know that there are resources available to assist with these situations. Every county courthouse has programs to accommodate supervised parenting time. There are also third-party companies whose sole purpose is to supervise parenting time. Unfortunately, these options are almost never feasible whether the reasons be personally or financially. They are also typically only utilized in the most severe of cases necessitating independent third-party observation. Therefore, the decision is up to you, the parents.
When choosing a supervisor there are several important factors you must consider. First, you have to think of someone you trust wholeheartedly to watch your children. The person you choose as a supervisor will, hopefully, provide you updates during the parenting time as well as feedback after the parenting time has finished. You also have to trust that this person will prevent any wrongdoing from the supervised parent. That is not to say you should pick your biggest or strongest confidant. You should, however, choose someone you know will call you, or the police, immediately should the need arise. The most common individuals chosen by parents in these situations are close friends or family members.
The most common issue that arises when choosing a close friend or family member is finding someone who is willing to serve as supervisor. Keep in mind these individuals are not paid or compensated for their time. In most instances, they have families and children of their own which serving as supervisor will pull them away from for long periods. In rare situations, your proposed supervisor might want nothing to do with the parent they are tasked with supervising.
Additionally, as strange as it may sound, oftentimes the parent to be supervised is allowed to provide input as to who will serve as supervisor. While not necessarily a determinative factor, a parent to be supervised will almost always object to your proposed supervisor if they are a relative or close friend. In those instances, the easiest choice would be a close family friend or relative of the parent to be supervised. However, for the same reasons you would choose your own relative or friend, you should object to their relative or friend serving as supervisor.
Choosing a supervisor is not an exact science. As is the case with most matters in matrimonial law, the best-case scenario might ultimately be that neither parent is one-hundred percent comfortable with the chosen supervisor. Regardless of who is chosen as a supervisor you will still spend your free time trying to coordinate and arrange parenting time that now must account for three individuals’ schedules. You will worry about your children regardless of who is supervising. Most importantly, regardless of who is chosen, this person has now become a fixture in not only your life, but your children’s life as well. Ultimately it all boils down one important question: which supervisor will require the least supervision?
